programs : pathways
Last year, the YWCA provided safe refuge for 248 battered women and their children at the women’s shelter for a total of 3,570 days. During their stay at the shelter, and after they move on, the children participate in the YWCA’s Children’s Program. Through therapeutic play, time spent with staff and advocates at the shelter, and specifically designed curriculum, the YWCA is intervening in the lives of Missoula’s children to break the cycle of violence.
From the ages of newborn to three years old, the most important developmental task is for a child to form an attachment to their major caregiver, typically their mother, and is critical to all other relationships the child will have in his or her life. When mom is stressed due to violence and instability in the home, she can be emotionally unavailable and unable to provide the stable environment needed for her child. By the time they reach the shelter, 90% of mothers are depressed, and their child’s attachment is compromised because of the stress the family has been living under. The Children’s Program enables moms to take a break, and provides a loving, peaceful space for the children to feel safe, engage in play and art projects, and form a bond with a caring adult.
From ages four to eleven, a child’s main task is cognitive learning- reading, math etc. When their home life is stressful and their basic needs are not being met (safe housing, enough food), The child’s ability to focus on school is compromised, and a high percentage of the children that participate in our programs have learning difficulties. The Children’s Program helps them with schoolwork, often providing a children’s advocate to help with their Individual Education Plan, where the educators, parent and child meet as a team. We also help the child understand that the violence in their home is not their fault, work on their self-esteem, and encourage them to talk about what is happening in their home and how they are feeling. Group discussions are encouraged as well as therapeutic play and art. We also encourage all of the children participants to come up with a "safety plan" which enables them to stay safe during violent episodes in their home.
Moving into adolescence, children start to practice their relationship and dating skills. When children have grown up with domestic violence, many have learned a dysfunctional relationship model. Frequently, children from violent families will be attracted to relationships that mirror their home life. Girls will often choose disrespectful and abusive boyfriends. Boys will often pick girlfriends that they can control and may eventually become abusers themselves. It is very hard for these children to understand what a healthy relationship is, because they have never seen one. The Children’s Program works with a curriculum designed for adolescents that encourages discussion around feelings, conflict management, healthy relationships, and self esteem.
To stop domestic violence and break the cycle, we have to start with our children. If you would like more information or are interested in helping, please call 543.6691 or email at children@ywcaofmissoula.org.
Circle of Peace Support Groups
These support groups are for children from birth to age 18 and meet every Tuesday night from 6:30 to 8pm. Age appropriate support groups include curriculum designed to break the cycle of violence. These facilitated groups offer children the chance to get together with their peers in an informal setting and talk about what has been going on at home and how they feel about it. The curriculum includes therapeutic art activities, non-competitive games; feelings based activities, education about domestic violence, safety planning, healthy conflict management, and a healthy snack.
Support groups for children who have experienced family violence
The YWCA Children’s Program recognizes that children are affected by domestic violence that occurs in the home. Ninety percent of children are aware when there is domestic violence in their home, and often think that the fighting is their fault. The YWCA recognized the need for support services for child survivors of domestic violence, and offers the Circle of Peace support groups every Tuesday evening. The children attend confidential, developmentally appropriate meetings that achieve the following goals:
- to increase self-esteem
- to stop the cycle of violence
- to teach healthy ways to express feelings and resolve conflicts
- to give children the necessary tools to form healthy relationships
For more information, contact the Children’s Program at 406-543-6691.
Birth to Age 3
The support group area is a safe, warm space where children are encouraged to explore and play without fear. Facilitators help children identify feelings, and offer healthy conflict resolution through child lead activities.
Ages 4-7 or 8
Children are given the opportunity to communicate about violence in their home through open discussions with peers who face similar situations. Curriculum topics are as follows: 1) feeling and emotions; 2) personal safety; 3) friendship; and 4) positive conflict resolution. Active games, art projects, and readings are also part of the curriculum.
Ages 8 or 9-12
The curriculum is designed to give children the necessary tools to feel good about themselves, process their experiences with domestic violence through open dialogue with fellow peers, learn about healthy conflict resolution, and learn how to be safe.
Teenagers
The teen support group closely resembles and educational group for adults. The group begins with exercises to help the teens get to know each other, and then delves into timely topics, such as healthy support systems, teen dating, and how domestic violence at home affects children. Teens are welcome to share their experiences and feelings with domestic violence. Facilitators are always there to validate feelings, and encourage inclusion and support. A large emphasis is placed on identifying and implementing healthy friendships.
Shelter Program
Children’s Advocates work with children at the shelter 7 days/week. The Children’s Program believes that children’s most important work is to play and often children who have lived with domestic violence are not able to engage in healthy play because of the chaotic and frightening environment at home. Children’s Advocates meet with both the mothers and the children separately at the shelter for an initial interview to learn about their history and find out what they want and need. Children’s Advocates are then able to engage children in therapeutic play activities, which include going out into the community. This allows children to do their work (play!) and allows respite time for busy single mothers. Children’s Advocates also work with mothers and children on resources and referrals as well as helping to educate mothers about the effects of domestic violence on children. Children’s Advocates are also available to work with family transitions into new schools and any school related needs.
Family Services
Families receive intensive support while residing at the shelter and sometimes need continued support when moving into their own home in the community. The Family Services program assists families with this transition. Children’s Advocates visit families in their new homes and work with moms to get their needs met. Services include: therapeutic play with children, supportive counseling, on-going parent education, resource and referrals.
Community Education
Children’s Program staff are available for public speaking on issues to related to domestic and/or sexual violence and the effects on children, as well as general information about the YWCA’s Children’s Program.
Parent Education
Children’s Program staff is available to talk with parents about the effects of domestic and/or sexual violence on children, as well as other children’s issues.